A Broken Needle
A few weeks ago we were visiting grandparents. After the first 24 hours of excitement wore off, my 9 and 11-year-old sons were thick into the work of fending off boredom. Happily, they found an old basketball in Grandpa’s shed. Of course it was a bit flat. So after a little rummaging around they came up with an air pump and a single needle. If you have young ball-loving children, you already know the rest of the story. My son walks in the front door announcing with a sigh, “Dad, the needle broke.” With the experience passed down from generation to generation, I asked him the proverbial old-man question, “Son, did you lick the needle?” As soon as I asked the question, I could tell it was the wrong direction to take the discussion. The tone and the content of the inquiry took what could be a learning moment and turned it into a blaming moment… not a best practice in parenting. Thankfully, I was able to quickly change directions. I smiled, looked him in the eye, and said, “Hey buddy, I think every boy has to break at least 3 or 4 needles before they get the hang of it. I know I did… Why don’t you tell me what happened so we can troubleshoot what went wrong.”
Turning learning moments into blaming moments… not a best practice in leadership either. As a leader there are times when those you serve are going to blow it. Not because of ill-intent, carelessness, or laziness, but because they are learning. It is a natural part of the process. When those moments come, how we react as a leader creates a relational space that either builds or deteriorates the individual’s and the organization’s capacity for high performance. Often, the best response can be to normalize the event by displaying vulnerability (perhaps sharing your own failures) and inviting the individual to collaboratively diagnose what went wrong and develop solutions for improving in the future. Our employees are not our children, but they are human. To err is human. To redeem an err for learning is leaderly.
A more concise version of this post can be found at LinkedIn.
